Coquettish
by Mystitat
Summary: There's a new ... something in the junkyard ... Insinuations of slash, but nothing at all graphic, and all in good fun.
1. Introduction

**Coquettish**

**By Mystitat**

* * *

"I'm telling you man, it was not a pretty sight!" 

"But what gave him the idea in the first place?"

"It was something Etcy said about really being into the letter R."

"But he knows that was only for a song in the Ball, doesn't he? We didn't want him to take it seriously!"

"He knows!"

"He knows Etcy's only into Tugger, right?"

"He knows!"

Considering he knew almost nothing about it, it was somewhat odd for Alonzo to be teling Mistoffelees and Victoria the story of how Admetus had painted a large letter 'R' on his chest to impress Etcetera. Yet, there the three of them were, walking down an ordinary London street, in search of a breakfast of the occaisional mouse here and there (and maybe some handouts from humans, too), and listening to Alonzo's ridiculous rumor.

Victoria could not believe the tale. "He actually painted on his fur?" she asked. "Why haven't I seen this yet?"

"He's been hiding ever since Etcetera cracked up over how silly he looked," Alonzo answered.

"Where did he even get a can of spraypaint?" Misto wanted to know.

"That ... I have no idea," came the response.

Misto continued: "But is it ever going to – "

But he was soon interrupted by a paw and a shushing sound from Victoria. "Wait, did you hear that?" she said suddenly.

"No, I didn't Vicks," Alonzo said impatiently. "I'm trying to tell a story here, and – "

"No, wait, I hear it too, now," Mistoffelees interjected. He perked his ears up, trying to focus on the anomalous sound. "It sounds like ... a queen crying! And it's coming from over there!" he cried, pointing to an alleyway across the street.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Alonzo called, already halfway across the pavement at the mention of a damsel in distress. "Let's get a move on!"

Get a move on they did. Our heroes were soon across the street in the alley, ears perked and hunting for any sign of a distressed queen. The crying was getting louder the closer they got to the back of the alley. Finally, Misto came upon an upended cardboard box, with something large and bumpy under a blanket. "Hey, I think I found her!" he called to his two companions. As they hurried over, Mistoffelees gingerly lifted off the blanket ...

... And found the most beautiful queen he had ever seen! Her fur was an exotic pattern of pink and periwinkle tabby stripes combined with violet leopard spots interjected here and there, all on Persian fur. Misto could barely see her eyes through all the sobbing she was doing, but from what he could catch of them, they were a kaleidoscope of rainbow colors, each color blending with the next so beautifully that you would swear the sun had just come out. She was crying, but even her crying voice hinted at a sweet singing voice, which would blossom when the right time came. Her fur was thick and neatly groomed, her frame surprisingly muscular –

"Hey!" Victoria called when she kneeled down to get a closer look at the stranger. "That's no queen! That's a tom!"

Misto peered at ... it ... again. Oh. Oops. It _was_ a tom. So go back and read that unnecessarily large paragraph again, replacing the female pronouns with male ones.

Only then did the strange new tom register that he had company. He slowly stopped crying, sat up, and peered at all his guests' faces with a kitten's curiosity and wide eyes.

They were all thinking it, but Victoria was the only one to say it aloud: "Awwwww!1!"

After blinking a few more times and looking at the new cats' faces curiously, the yet unidentified tom muttered ever so sweetly, "Who ... who are you?"

It took a moment to get over the initial shock, but finally Victoria found the voice to say, "Oh, sorry. Hi, I'm Victoria, and these guys are Mistoffelees and Alonzo." She gestured to each tom in turn. "We heard you crying, and we came to see if we could help. Right guys?" she said, looking up to them for confirmation.

Mistoffelees and Alonzo still couldn't really say anything. They were still staring at what appeared to be a he ... sort of. Needless to say, they were still a little ... weirded out.

"Guys ... hey, guys ... GUYS!" Victoria hissed, trying to shake them out of their stupor. "Guys, help me here!" She poked Misto (who was still kneeling next to her at this time) hard on the shoulder. "Right, Misto!"

This brought him out of it. "Hm, wha?" he muttered, regaining his sense of what's what. "Oh, yeah!" he finally managed to stammer. "We came to see if you needed help or anything! Right, Alonzo?" he asked, looking up to Alonzo behind him for confirmation.

Alonzo was still too ... weirded out.

"... Anyway ..." Victoria muttered, turning back to the pink and periwinkle Persian, "Are you okay? What's your name?"

"Oh," he said, turning away and blinking shyly, "My name is Celebintart. I'm sorry if I disturbed you. It's just that I ... I ..." But he could not go on, for the tears had started welling up again.

"Aww, what is it?" Victoria asked kindly, gently rubbing his shoulder for support.

"It's just that..." Celebintart started through sobs, "It's just that ... my humans kicked me out today!" he finally cried. "They got a new Pollicle, and it was chasing me, and the family thought we couldn't get along, and they kicked me out and now I have nowhere to go!" And with this, he burst into a fresh bout of crying.

"Aww, there there," Vicky mumbled, rubbing his ... attractive shoulder affectionately. But then a 'brilliant' idea popped into her head (which is apparently prone to happen when Jellicles meet cats like these). "Hey, I know! You could come live with us in the junkyard!"

_This_ brought Alonzo back to coherent consciousness. "Wait, Vicks," he started, "Are you sure this is such a good – "

"Of course I'm sure, 'Lonzo," she interrupted. "Just look at him!"

Alonzo looked. The pink tom was sure a sorry sight (though whether it was due to his conditions or the fact that he was pink, Alonzo wasn't sure). He sighed. "Well, I guess, but – "

"Oh good!" Victoria yelled, interrupting him again. "You hear that, Celebintart? You can come stay with us! All the cats there are really nice! Come on!"

Celebintart's eyes were wide with disbelief. "I could come stay with you?" he repeated, unbelieving, "In a junkyard!"

"Yes, c'mon! We'll take you right to Munkustrap. Let's go!" She took him by the paw, attempting to drag him to his feet to get him to come with them.

She did succeed in making him stand, but he didn't look so convinced about the junkyard. "You are sure the other cats would like me?" he asked. "I do have an unusual talent for dancing and singing. Some cats might not like me ..."

"Oh, you'll fit right in," Misto mumbled under his breath.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine!" Victoria announced. She wouldn't have been able to tell you why she was so convinced he should come to the 'yard, but she might have admitted that she did feel the tiniest bit ... attracted to him, pink fur and all. "C'mon, let's go!" she ordered, taking Celebintart once more by the paw.

He still stayed where he was standing, though he did seem to consider the proposal. Finally, he said, "Okay, I'll come. But only if he'll hold my paw, too!" he announced, pointing at Misto.

Mistoffelees quickly conjured up the most innocent "What?" look he could, but Victoria responded, "Fine! Misto, take his paw."

"Vicks, are you sure? I – "

"I said, take his paw! We're going back to the junkyard!"

Mistoffelees shrugged in defeat, but Alonzo grabbed him before he could take the pink paw. "Are you sure about this?" he whispered into Misto's ear.

"I guess it's all right," Misto admitted. "Besides, the tribe does take in a lot of newcomers, right?"

"Yeah, but this is the first one to be pink!" Alonzo protested.

"Well, I guess," Misto ventured ...

"Hey, let's go!" Victoria called, forcibly attaching Misto's paw to Celebintart's. "I want to get back there before dark!"

And so the four of them started heading back to the junkyard, some more reluctantly than others.


	2. Meeting the tribe

"Wait, I'm concerned. Who helped him with this?"

"I told you, he did it by himself. He didn't tell anyone because he wanted it to be a surprise for Etcetera."

"So he's still hiding? For how long?"

"For as long as it takes him to grow out his chest fur, I guess."

Munkustrap sighed as Demeter told him the story that seemed to be spreading like wildfire. "But he knows it's just a song, right?"

"I hope so," Demeter muttered.

They sat there together in silence for a couple minutes, thinking over the current yap of the 'yard ((like talk of the town, but yap of the 'yard! Get it? It's funny because ... oh, never mind ... )). Then Demeter looked up, catching a glimpse of the junkyard gate. "Munkustrap," she muttered, rubbing his shoulder to get his attention, "Do you see that?"

"What is it?" he asked as he glanced up. Then, "Oh, my."

Alonzo came in first, leading the way, but also looking severely weirded-out. Then came Victoria and Mistoffelees, each holding the paw of ... well, all Munkustrap could tell was that it was primarily pink.

"What. Is. That?" Demeter managed to mumble.

"I don't know," Munkustrap replied, getting to his feet ... erm, paws. "But whatever it is, I think it wants to join the tribe."

Demeter got up as well, but asked, "How do you know?"

He looked back at her, his expression pleading. "Isn't that always what they want?"

* * *

"Hey, here comes Munkustrap!" Victoria announced to Celebintart. "He's really nice. He's the tribe's leader!"

"More like an under-leader, really," Mistoffelees corrected from Celebintart's left. "Our _real_ leader is Old Deuteronomy."

"Munkustrap..." Celebintart muttered, tasting the new name. "He looks so ... lithe."

Mistoffelees turned sharply to stare. Alonzo just kept walking, as though if he never saw the pink thing, he could pretend it wasn't really there...

* * *

Munkustrap strode confidently toward the junkyard gate, reeking of "important." As he passed Alonzo, he queried, "Who is that new cat?" Alonzo just kept walking in a daze. _Ookey dokey,_ Munkus internally rationalized.

He then came along the threesome. "My name is Munkustrap," he announced, again showing off his "important." "This is the Jellicle Junkyard. What have you come here for?" he questioned.

The pink ... thing, for lack of a better word, for Munkus still couldn't tell whether it was male or female (it was actually very pretty, but surprisingly muscular), opened its mouth to speak, but Victoria piped up first. "He wants to join the tribe!" she called.

"Does he?" Munkus asked, turning to the pink and periwinkle tabby/Persian. "And what's his name?" he asked also.

Taking his paw away from Victoria (but still holding on to Misto's), he brought it to his face, as if to hide a blush. He blinked his kaleidoscope eyes a couple times and said ever so shyly, "My name is Celebintart."

"Oh," Munkustrap muttered softly as his eyes widened and he was momentarily stricken speechless.

"Munkustrap?" Victoria whispered, attempting to bring him back to the junkyard.

"Hmm?" he muttered back absent-mindedly. His mind was clearly elsewhere ... it was pink ...

Victoria looked back and forth from Celebintart to Munkustrap. "Munkustrap," she went on, "Celebintart wants to join the tribe. Can he?"

Straps still stared for a moment, but managed to mutter, "Yeah ... sure ... sure," his eyes still wide in shock.

"You hear that! You can stay!" Victoria cried. Grabbing Celebintart by the paw again, she called, "C'mon, let's go introduce you to everybody!" With that, she ran off, dragging Celebintart behind her, and also thusly Mistoffelees behind him.

* * *

The first small gathering of cats Victoria and company encountered consisted of Etcetera chasing Tugger around a small clearing (with the Tugger running for his life), with Jennyaydots, Skimbleshanks, and Electra looking on. As they approached, Misto could hear Jenny saying to Electra, "Now see? Tugger is sensible. He doesn't go desecrating his fur to impress Etcetera."

"But Tugger doesn't even really like 'Cettie!" Electra protested.

"Hey!" Victoria called, "Guess who just joined the tribe!" She pointed to Celebintart and screamed, "Ta-da!"

Jennyanydots raised her eyebrows.

Electra and Etcetera cried, "He's pink!"

Tugger and Skimble just stared.

Seeing that Celebintart wasn't moving, Victoria nudged him and whispered, "C'mon! Go introduce yourself!"

Celebintart looked at her in surprise, but at seeing the enthusiastic look on her face, he nodded and said, "Ok."

But instead of saying "hi" to Etcetera and Electra (who were running over to greet the new pink tom) as Victoria expected, Celebintart strode right past them, went to Tugger, and said shyly, circling one toe in the dust, "Hi. I'm Celebintart."

_(He's skinny for a tom,_ Misto thought to himself. _Short, too. He only comes up to Tugger's chest.)_

Tugger smiled in that cool, collected way he had, a little surprised, but willing to go with the flow. "Uh, hey! I'm the Rum Tum Tugger! Nice to meet 'ya!"

Jennyanydots' eyebrows came together with almost an audible click.

By this time, Electra and Etcetera, unfazed by all of this ('cuz what did they know?) had caught up to the pink tabby. "Hi, I'm Etcetera!" the cream-colored tabby screamed in that strident way she had.

"And I'm Electra!" the other kitten called likewise. "Is your fur pink like that all on its own!"

Celebintart nodded politely and sweetly, then turned back to Tugger. "Does your mane grow long like that all on its own?" he asked, under – and Tugger couldn't believe this – heavy eyelashes.

"He sure takes encouragement well, doesn't he?" Misto said teasingly to Victoria.

She swatted at him and muttered, "Shut up."

* * *

"Cassandra!" Alonzo howled as he plowed into the little den he shared with her.

Cassandra, who had been pleasantly napping, shot wide awake as her mate came crashing into the den. "What! What is it!" she cried, completely alarmed.

For an answer, Alonzo merely climbed into her arms and whispered, "Hold me," curling into fetal position like a kitten.

Cassandra, now more confused than alarmed, obligingly held him. He was shaking, and his eyes were wide with terror. "Alonzo, what is it?" she asked, concerned.

Alonzo simply shuddered and muttered, "Just ... hold me ..."

* * *

By now, Jenny and Skimble had joined Tugger, Cettie, and 'Lectra in welcoming the newest tribe member. Victoria and Misto still stood a few yards away.

"So what did the humans do next?" Electra was saying.

Celebintart was almost to the point of tears as he recounted his twagic past. "It was so terrible!" he cried, tears forming in those kaleidoscope eyes. "The humans came back home, and I thought they were bringing me back my favorite dinner, tuna salad on a fresh bed of whiskas, but instead, they came back with a Pollicle! It was so terrible! They gave it my bed and when it tried to go out my kitty door, it broke it! It was so terrible! And it kept growling at me, too! So the humans thought I didn't like him, so they threw me out! It was so terrible!"

"This is so terrible..." Skimble mumbled to Jenny.

"Ssh you!" she hushed, giving him an elbow in the ribs. To be polite, she raised her voice and asked, "Then what happened?"

"It was so terrible!" Celebintart cried afresh. "The humans threw me in the streets! I've never been a street cat before! I didn't know what to do! I walked around the street for a while, looking for something to eat! There were lots of places with humans and food in them, but none of them would let me in, despite my exquisitely beautiful fur! It was so terrible! One of the places even had a great big cat eating at a table, but they still wouldn't let me in! It was so terrible! I finally got so hungry I actually ate a mouse! Can you believe it! It was so terrible! I actually ate something that was crawling on the ground! It was so terrible! But then I was all dirty, and there were no humans around to give me a bubble bath! It was so terrible! So then I ..."

For the sake of the readers, about ten minutes' worth of _terrible_ drivel has been abbreviated. You can thank me later.

"...And then Misto found me!" Celebintart finally announced.

Misto, a little surprised when all attention was immediately called to him, tried his best to look innocent, but Victoria came to his rescue ... sort of: "Hey, I found him, too!"

"And that's how I found the junkyard!" Celebintart concluded, very proud indeed.

Everyone could only stand there for a couple minutes, trying to digest an earful of "terrible" information.

Finally, Victoria, tired of silence, piped up with, "Hey, Celebintart! We better get going if you want to meet everyone in the junkyard!"

Celebintart turned to her, shock evident on his face. "You mean there are _more_ cats around here!" he questioned, unable to believe it.

"Oh, I can safely say there are more cats around here," Misto muttered. It was the understatement of the century.

* * *

Bombalurina was feeling ... deliciously sly today. Unfortunately, she was unable to locate any particularly elligible toms to share that slyness with. Talking about toms with Demeter would have to do.

Smiling wickedly as she located Demeter napping on an old mattress, Bombalurina crept silently toward her friend. When she was close enough to whisper in her ear, she poked her hard and screamed, "HI DEMI!"

They must have heard Demeter's screech in the next country.

"_What was that for!"_ Demeter yelled at Bombalurina. "I was asleep and you knew that!"

Bombalurina dismissed the blame with a flip of her paw. "Don't worry about it. I'm feeling ... sly today." She repositioned herself so as to be more comfortable on the mattress, then said, "So is anything particularly juicy going on? Especially concerning toms?"

Demeter's face assumed a thrilled look, and she opened her mouth to speak excitedly, but Bomba stopped her before she could: "And before you tell me that silly story about Admetus and the spraypaint, let me warn you that I've heard it three times today."

Demeter then closed her mouth, disappointed that she could not keep up in the gossip department compared to her more popular friend. But then she remembered the events of earlier that morning. "Actually, there's a new tom in the tribe. He just joined today."

Bomba squealed. "Ooh! That is news! So do tell! What's he like? What's his name?"

"Actually," Demi started, grimacing, "I don't exactly remember his name, only that it somehow reminded me of going to a Valentines party with very sour candy. He's bright pink, though!"

The gears turning in Bomba's head at that moment were almost visible. Going to a party ... celebrating ... sour candy ... tart ... really bright pink ...

"Everlasting Cat! Noooo!" Bomba suddenly howled, jumping to her feet.

This hysterical display caused Demeter to rise in alarm, too. "What? What is it!"

"Celebintart! Celebintart joined the tribe!" Bomba could only scream, clutching at her headfur, almost to the point of yanking it out.

"Who's Celebintart?" Demi questioned, unable to comprehend her friend's outburst.

"He's my cousin! I thought I'd gotten rid of him!" Bomba cried, pacing on the mattress.

Demeter stood there for a few seconds, trying to understand, and finally said, "Wait, he's your cousin? You look nothing alike!"

"Well, we sort of do," Bomba sort of explained. "I'm red, he's pink; it's a long story. And hopefully, I won't have time to explain it to you. I'm leaving." And with that, she started to take off.

"Wait, you're leaving?" Demi questioned as she tried to follow Bomba. "What for?"

"Because as long as Celebintart is here, I won't be. I'm taking a vacation," Bomba replied, grim-faced.

Demeter was still utterly confused. "But where will you go?"

"Across town, across the country, across the border, I don't care! I just have to get away from _him_!" And with that, Bombalurina took off at full speed for the junkyard gate, leaving a very confused Demeter scratching her head.


	3. A Little Too Much Fun

By the time Celebintart had been introduced to _everyone_ in the tribe, it was well past nightfall. It would have taken much less time if Celebintart hadn't had to recount his terrible, _twagic_ past to each and every tribe member. But as it was, the two black and whites (well, one just white) who'd accompanied him all over the 'yard could barely keep on their paws, they were so tired. 

The pink one, it seemed, had other ideas. "Are you absacredibly increlutely positive there's no one else to meet around here?" he yelled much too loudly into the night.

"Yes, we're sure," Misto muttered, rubbing one ear with a paw. "You've met everyone. We even managed to take you to see Bustopher Jones, that's how thorough a job we did. Now if you'll excuse me," he said through a yawn, "I'm off to bed. G'night." And with that, he attempted to limp off toward his little den.

The pink one, it seemed, had still other plans. "Wait! Don't go! I need help!" he cried desperately. "I don't have a den or a bed! Where will I sleep!"

Victoria saw this as her golden opportunity. "Well," she said coyly, "You could always come share my den with me..." She sidled up to him rather suggestively, batting her eyelashes.

Celebintart seemed to consider this proposal. He looked at Victoria, turned to Misto, looked back at Victoria, but his eyes finally settled on Misto. "Um..." he muttered, extracting himself from Victoria's embrace to put his arms around Misto. "Maybe I could sleep in your den tonight?" he whispered, almost bordering on the edge of being on the fence of ... seductive!

Misto's eyes widened farther than Bustopher Jones' waistline on all-you-can-eat night. "Me!" he gasped. "Why would you want to share a den with me!"

"Well, I guess you could protect me," came a purr of a response.

Victoria took Celebintart's paw, trying to draw him away from the tuxedo tom. "C'mon, you'll be nice and safe in my den..." she tried.

But Celebintart's other paw remained firmly around Misto's. "But I'd so rather stay with Misto..."

"No, really, you don't want Misto," Vic argued, getting both paws on Celebintart, literally trying to drag him away from the conjurer. "He does weird stuff when he's asleep; his magic gets away from him. You'll wake up with your fur all frizzy, I swear. You'd be much happier with me. C'mon!" She yanked on his paw, threatening to rip his arm out of its socket.

"Wait, don't I get a say in this!" Misto tried to interject.

But Celebintart was quite close to bawling his eyes out. "But if I can't be with Misto, I can't live in the junkyard anymore!"

Misto was baffled by this (_how would that determine if he could stay in the yard, pray tell!)_, but Victoria abruptly let go of the pink tom's arm, releasing the tension of their game of tug'o'war, and causing him and Misto to tumble to the ground all over each other. "You heard him. He's staying in your den tonight, Misto." Vicks knew which side her bread was buttered on; as long as Celebintart still lived in the yard, she would have further chances to woo him.

* * *

Things in the junkyard got off to an eventful start the next morning.

"Pouncival, you're kidding, right?"

"Hey, I had to stick by Admetus, right?" Pounce answered Jemima, trying to impress her with the large green "A" spray-painted on his chest. "Even you have to admit, it is pretty sexy, right?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Tumblebrutus stumbled over, barging in on this romantic scene. "Pounce, do we have any spray paint whiteout?" he asked, gesturing to the large "T" on his chest which more closely resembled the number 9.

Jemima could only stare. The day could only get better from here, right?

* * *

"Good morning!" Victoria cried, crashing into Misto's den under a junkpile.

"Got any headache stuff?" Mistoffelees moaned feebly. Victoria looked at him confusedly, wondering what he could want with medicine, but then she caught a glimpse of Misto's denmate from the night before.

"I'm all sparkley! I'm all sparkley! Celebintart cried, dancing around the hollowed out junk (and occasionally breaking things).

Victoria sat down softly next to Misto to inquire, "How did this happen?"

Misto groaned. "Well, you know how power gets away from me when I sleep. I tried to tell him he had to sleep on the other side of the room from me, or else I couldn't guarantee what would happen. But he wouldn't listen, and I kept trying to tell him, but he wouldn't listen. So finally, I just went to sleep, because you remember how tired we were. A couple hours ago, he woke me up doing _that._" He gestured to the wild antics by the pink – and now sparkley – Persian. "I guess I must have made him glittery," Misto continued. "I've been trying to think how to get it out of his fur, but I don't think I can."

Victoria watched Celebintart prance about. "You know, I don't think he minds."

"Yeah," Misto responded through a yawn.

"So how much sleep did you get?"

"A couple hours? Maybe?"

"Nice."

Until this point, Celebintart hadn't seemed to have seen the new arrival to the den. At this moment, he spied Victoria, and, leaping upon her, cried out once more, "I'm sparkley!1!"

Victoria, beginning to catch Misto's headache, mumbled, "I can see that ..."

* * *

"So what do we do now!" Celebintart cried out in that strident voice he had, bounding out of Mistoffelees' den. "What happens next!"

Misto looked confused. "Does something happen next?" he asked Victoria as she emerged into the sunlight.

"Happen next? What?" she said, confusion evident on her face as well.

"What happens next!" Celebintart reiterated, literally hopping up and down. "What do we do now!"

Victoria and Misto mirrored the same "Oh" look.

Luckily, they were saved from having to dignify the question with an answer by the sudden appearance of George and Carbucketty, two very young tomkits indeed, racing and darting around between junkpiles.

"It's mine"

"I saw it first!"

"You can't have it!"

"Give it to me!"

"Hold it!" Mistoffelees called out, adding a twist of power to the command. Bother kittens involuntarily stopped dead in their tracks.

Victoria strode over to George and grabbed the item he was trying to keep away from Carbucketty. "Spray paint?" she mused, holding it up. "What did you two want with spray paint?"

"Ooh, spray paint is lots of fun!" Celebintart announced, bubbly and giddy as ever. "I know lots of things to do with spray paint!"

"Like what!" both kittens chorused eagerly. Celebintart grabbed the can out of Victoria's paws and ran over to the two kittens. The three huddled together and began conversing in excited whispers.

Misto took the opportunity to let go of his spell on the kittens' feet and pulled Victoria aside. "Vicks, what are we going to do with him?"

"What do you mean?" Victoria asked distractedly, her attention on the giddy Persian tom.

Misto took her by the shoulders and forced her attention away from Celebintart and Co. "Victoria, we can't lead him around by the paw all day! We have things to do! Or I have things to do!"

"Oh, come on!" she retorted. "There's nothing wrong with leading him around by the paw all day!" Misto stared. Victoria continued: "Besides, we're cats! What could we possibly have to _do_?"

Misto hesitated, but answered, "Well, Admetus asked me to do a favor for him ..."

Now it was Victoria's turn to stare. Finally she said with a flip of her paw, "Fine. Go off and try to get the paint out of Addy's fur. Whatever. But I'm going to accompany Celebintart around the yard!"

"Fine with me," Misto muttered. "Good luck." He turned and went back into his den.

Victoria hmph'd, then turned to rejoin the pink tom. But when she looked, neither the kittens nor Celebintart were anywhere in sight!

* * *

It took Victoria several hours to locate Celebintart and the errant kittens. When she finally found them, the kittens were playing a kick-the-can type game with the spray paint can, and Celebintart was sunning himself on a nearby car hood, occasionally offering can-kicking advice to the two kickers, and admiring the way the sun glinted off his new sparkles.

Victoria (who, now that she'd found him and forgotten her earlier headache, thought the glitteryness was actually quite becoming) hopped up onto the car to sit next to Celebintart, barely resisting the urge to stroke his fur. "Hello, Sparkley," she said coyly.

"I am sparkley, aren't I?" he replied, giggling.

Victoria was silent for a minute, trying to think of where to turn the conversation to next, when she suddenly took notice of the game the kittens were carrying on with nearby. "Ah, Celebintart?" she prodded.

"Hmm?" came the response (for he was still largely engrossed in admiring the sparkles in his abundant pink fur).

"Wasn't that can of spray paint full earlier today?"

"Yes."

"Is it empty now?"

"Um-hmm."

"Where did the paint go?"

He grinned at her wickedly. "We had fun!"

"And all those cans over there?" she asked as she grimaced and pointed to a pile of cans not far away from them.

"Oh, we had fun with those, too!"


	4. How It All Went Down

A/N: Yes, I am ashamed. I oughta be after taking this long to update. Well, finally, here I am updating Coquettish. Be proud.

On a related note, I might mention a few things about this chapter. One is that there are a few different flavors of junkyard that go through my stories. This flavor matches that found in "Skimble's Day Off" and "A Grand Night Out." That said, one or two of the Skimble jokes (like his having a front door and Jellylorum's intentional ooc-ness) might be in reference to S'sDO. Also please note that as I was writing out different situations all over the junkyard ... I ran out of cats. So Sillabub appears in addition to Jemima. Just work with me here. But do enjoy.

* * *

"How were classes today, Dearie?" 

"Oh, they amaze me more every day. You know, it's astounding the rate at which those little mice learn."

"Lovely, Dearie."

Skimbleshanks and Jennyanydots sat together in their homey little den, enjoying a home-cooked meal and discussing the day they'd had. "Really," Jenny went on, "It's as though they were created to learn! Not a day goes by but I find one of them doing something new, or improving on what I've taught them, or – "

"Jenny," Skimble interrupted, looking at her suspiciously, "I can't help but notice that we are eating mousecake..."

"Oh," Jenny mumbled "... that. Well, let's just say some mice don't learn as quickly as others."

_knock-_

"Did you hear that?" Jenny noticed. "It sounded like a half-knock at the door, like someone was trying to knock, but stopped in the middle ...?"

"I'm not opening that door for anything," Skimble mumbled under his breath.

"Shoosh, you," his mate chided.

"Skimble? Jenny? Are you in there?" Jellylorum could be heard from outside.

"See? It's just Jelly," Jennyanydots scolded, getting up to get the door. "Don't say you won't open the door." As she approached the wooden harbinger of doom, she called out, "Come in, Jelly!"

The door shook a bit as Jellylorum tried to open it, but alas, it would not budge! "Jenny!" she called in, "It won't budge!"

"That's odd," Jennyanydots muttered, trying the knob herself. It would not budge! "Is there something in the way?"

"No," came the response. "But the door is bright green!"

"Is something the matter?" Skimbleshanks asked, coming to the door.

"Jelly says the door is bright green! And it won't budge!"

"Bright green?" Skimble repeated. "Did someone paint it?"

Then it dawned on all three at the same time: someone had painted the door, and the paint had covered the crack between the door and the doorframe and sealed it shut.

"Jelly, we're trapped!" Jennyanydots cried.

"I'll go get help!" came the muffled response. The pound of pawsteps could be heard as Jellylorum ran off for help.

"Jelly's off to get help?" Skimble lamented. "This could take a while ..."

* * *

"Jerrie, what's this?" Rumpleteazer inquired of the similarly-striped tiger tabby next to her as they sorted through their loot as they headed back to their den after a raid. 

He looked at the device (which any human would readily recognize as a television remote control), and smirked. "That," he started, a clever glint in his eye, "Is a bona fide whatchamajiggit."

"Really?" Rumpleteazer replied. She stared at it in wonder and breathed, "Wow ..."

"You see, the wonderful thing about whatchamajiggets," Mungojerrie began to expound, "Is whatchamajiggets are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber. Their bottoms are made out of – "

"Jerrie! Your paws are green!" his partner in crime suddenly exclaimed.

He examined his feet for a moment, said, "Huh, would you look at that!" and continued, "As I was saying, as long as you have a whatchamajigget, there are several things you can do with it ... "

This one-sided conversation went on for several minutes until, turning the corner around a rather large junkpile, Rumpleteazer glanced down at the ground and cried, "Look, Jerrie! Pawprints!"

"You're right, 'Teazer! And they look like their heading that way! Let's follow them!" Thus, entranced by the prospect of a good mystery, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer headed off in pursuit of the pawprints, not noticing that as they did, Rumpleteazer splashed through a puddle of the same color as Mungojerrie's conspicuously colored paws ...

* * *

_Ah, another beautiful day to be me!_

Thus went the thoughts of the most conspicuous playboy tom in the yard as he sashayed around, as was his habit this time of day. It was the perfect time to do it in, too: right in between "take a beauty-catnap in the sun" time and "primp tail-fur" time. He sighed and caught the image of his handsome face in a reflective auto bumper. Oh yes, it was truly a beautiful day to be The Tugger.

Or so he thought.

Spying one Cassandra, slinky feline extraordinaire, he decided his efforts of the morning would be best spent trying to elicit a swoon from the queen. He crept over to the car hood on which she was napping, arranging himself to lay all over it as well, and proceeded to tickle the fur just behind her ears.

"Tugger, I know it's you," Cassandra moaned, coming out of sleep. "You're the only cat who ever tickles behind the ears for no reason at all. And I know what you're thinking, but I'm not interested. You know I'm attached to Alonzo."

Tugger, a bit miffed, but still determined, arched his back seductively and replied, "Aww, come on, don't say that 'till you've had a look at the goods, darling."

Cassandra rolled her eyes and rolled over to face him. "You know, you really are full of – " she began, but stopped dead when she caught sight of him.

The maned tom, assuming she had been caught off-guard by his debonaire good looks, continued, "Oh, I am full of something all right. I am full of – "

"Pink!"

Hmm? " ... Pink?" Tugger prompted curiously (as was his nature).

"Pink! You're pink!" Cassandra gasped through giggles. "What kind of an idea is that? You painted yourself pink! Did you think that would work on me? Maybe Etcetera, or even Victoria, but then again, you don't even have to goad _them_ on ... but pink, Tugger?!" And with that, she exploded into a fit of giggles, and was unreachable by the spoken word.

Tugger, more than a bit miffed by now, muttered "Pink?" to himself, and went off to find a mirror ...

* * *

"Aww, man, this is going to be so funny!" 

"Pounce, are you sure this is going to work?"

"Of course it's going to work, Tumble!" Pouncival explained to his current partner in crime. "All we have to do is sneak into the junkpile the queenkits sleep under, rearrange all their favorite things, and they'll think each other got into it and messed with their stuff! It'll be perfect!" he announced as they came upon the back entrance to the queenkits' domicile. "We just have to move aside the box that blocks the back door. Come on, help me!"

"Eh, that's okay, I'll watch," Tumblebrutus decided. Pouncival shrugged, and got to work on the box. Tumble sat down on the ground, and in boredom, started playing around with a little rubber ball that he found next to him. _Hmm, I don't remember this ball being red,_ he thought to himself. He soon discovered the reason for the odd hue as splotches of red soon started coming off on his paws. Thinking mischievously, he soon called out, "Hey Pounce, think fast!"

As Pouncival turned around from what he was working on, a red ball smacked into his face. "Oh, very funny," he retorted as he threw the ball back to Tumblebrutus. "Either help me or don't, but don't bug me, sheesh. You didn't have to get that red stuff all over me, you know!"

Tumblebrutus chuckled to himself and went back to playing with the ball.

They were soon interrupted, however, by a shout of, "Hey, what are you two doing!?"

Both tomkits spun around to see Etcetera coming toward them quickly. "We weren't doing anything!" Pouncival tried to explain hastily. "We were just – "

"Nuh uh! I _know_ you were trying to sneak into our den, weren't you!" Etcetera accused.

Tumblebrutus stood up in their defense, "No, really Etcetera, we were just trying to move the box! We didn't know it led into your den! Honest!"

Etcetera considered this, then caught a glimpse of their paws and exclaimed happily, "No way! I caught you two red-handed! You have to have been doing something bad!" She folded her arms, very proud of herself. "I'm telling on you to Gus. He's gonna make you sorry!" And she began to drag them both away toward the den of the Old Theater Cat.

"No, Etcetera, wait, that's just an expression!" Pouncival tried to protest, but it was too late for him. They were being dragged off whether they wanted to be or not.

* * *

"Wow, Jerrie! Have you ever seen so many pawprints!" 

"No, Teazer! And they just keep going! There must have been fifty cats running around here!" He blurted, referring to the sheer number of pairs of pawprints they had been tracking for the last half hour or so. "Come on, Teazer! For the sake of the 'yard, we have to find all these cats and find out why they're leaving all these prints all over!"

Rumpleteazer nodded, the green-pawed queen following her equally green-pawed mate, leaving equally green little pawprints in their wake.

* * *

"Gus! Pouncival and Tumblebrutus were trying to sneak into our den and do something bad!" 

"We were not!"

Gus the Theater Cat, a little surprised to be called upon to mediate, glared at them with rheumy eyes. "What were they doing exactly, Electra?"

Etcetera sighed and said, "I'm Etcetera, and they were trying to sneak into our den and do bad stuff, Gus!"

"Ah ..." Gus seemed to consider this. "So what do you boys have to say for yourselves?"

"We weren't doing nothing!" they both retorted together.

"Hmm ... well, you must have been doing something, if you were being sneaky around the queenkits' den ... " Gus seemed to consider this to himself. "Perhaps ... you have developed a fondness for one of the queens?"

"What?!" Tumblebrutus cried. "Gus, no way! They're _girls_! They've got _cooties!"_

"All right, maybe not you then, but maybe you, Pouncival? Is there a certain girl who has been catching your eye?" Pouncival opened his mouth to protest, but he was soon interrupted by Gus announcing, "There is no need to respond! I can see it from the way you are blushing! You are most certainly in love, young Pouncival!"

Pouncival could only mutter, "Wah...?" before he recalled the redness that had stuck to his cheeks from the ball. "Wait, Gus, no! It's just paint! It's – !"

But he was soon interrupted by blind old Gus taking him by the paw and leading him away, with explanations of wanting to inform him of what happens when a tomkit takes a fancy to a queenkit.

Listening to the snickers of the other two kittens behind him, Pouncival muttered, "Oh, I am so going to _get_ whoever got paint all over that ball!"

* * *

"Mungojerrie? Rumpleteazer? What are you doing?" Demeter inquired of the two tabbies laying stricken on the ground before her. 

"We ... trying ... catch (huff) ... the cat ... (wheeze) ... making ... pawprints!" Rumpleteazer gasped out, utterly exhausted.

This still left Demeter puzzled. "But ... why are you so tired?" she asked.

Gasping, Mungojerrie gasped out, "Chasing for ... (huff) seven hours ... at least."

Demeter looked down at the ground around her. There were indeed prints in the dirt. There was a multitude of little green pawprints, looking like an army of cats had made its way through the junkyard. She was about to gasp in alarm herself, when she took notice of the state of the tabbies' own paws. "Did you two notice your feet were green?" she inquired hesitatingly.

Rumpleteazer, seeming to gain a little more energy by this time, sat up and mumbled, "Yeah, but we figured it was a trick by all those cats we were chasing to distract us and get us off the trail."

Demeter grimaced and offered, "Well, did you think maybe ... you two were making all the pawprints?"

Mungojerrie sat up himself and retorted, "What?! How could _we_ be making the pawprints?"

"Yeah!" Rumpleteazer joined in, "It's not like we have anything on _our_ ... _Oh_ ..." She looked remorseful and glanced up at her mate. "Jerrie, did we see the prints before or after we noticed our paws were green?"

"After," Mungojerrie replied calmly. Then it dawned on him. "_Oh... _I am so going to _get_ whoever tricked us into this!"

Demeter, a little off to the side and examining a green puddle, offered, "You might want to start with whoever it was who spilled all this green paint over here."

* * *

"Munkustrap!" Jellylorum screamed, crashing into Munkustrap's den. "You have to come quick! Skimbleshanks and Jennyanydots are stuck in their – !" 

"Shh, Jellylorum!" Jellylorum then found herself quickly but politely deposited outside the den. "I'm sorry, but I'm a little busy right now. Come back later." And with that, he promptly turned around and proceeded right back into his den.

"But Munkustrap!" Jellylorum exclaimed as she followed him right back inside, "You have to help! Skimble and Jenny are - ... Um ... Munkustrap?"

"Yes?" the tabby responded as Jellylorum stopped her requests suddenly.

"Why is the inside of your den pink?"

Munkustrap, becoming shy all of a sudden, tried to get her out with, "Can you just leave me alone? It's a choice, okay?"

Undeterred, Jellylorum went on, "But ... Munkustrap, what brought this about?"

"Let's just say I've found someone new, okay?"

"Munkustrap?"

Turning a little pink himself, Munkustrap muttered, "Let's just leave it at that. Trust me, you don't want to know any more ..."

* * *

"Hey, Electra! Long time no see!" Sillabub greeted her friend, coming over to sit down next to her. "Did I miss much while I was away at my humans' house?" 

Electra, her eyes still closed from napping, chuckled to herself. "Oh yes, I dare say you missed much. There's a new cat in the yard. He's bright pink. You'll love him. Well, sorta ..."

"What do you mean by that?" Sillabub asked ingenuously.

Electra considered a bit before going on. "Well, he's kind of gotten a hold of a big pile of paint cans, and he was kind of messing around with them a lot today, so by the end of the day, I'll bet a lot of cats aren't going to be so happy with him."

"Oh," Sillabub mumbled. "Well, what kinds of things has he been doing?"

Both queens looked up as a very pink Rum Tum Tugger went screaming past them across the yard, crying out "I'M PINK! I'M PINK! I'M PINK!"

"Things like that," Electra mumbled.

"Oh," Sillabub said. "And that?" she asked, referring to Admetus, who, at this point, was trying to sneak across the yard inconspicuously, still trying to hide the large "R" on his chest.

"Nah, Admetus did that to himself."


End file.
